playdated:

BEING UGLY IS REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING 

(via asvprock)

dropdeadesu:

A friend of mine just messaged me saying “I fucked up. I was doing math with my son, and I told him to ‘hold up eleven fingers’ and he started to panic and I didn’t realize why until he screamed ‘MOM…MOM I ONLY HAVE TEN”

(via universallyinfinite)

snarg:

when ur sad always remember that u don’t look like you did in 6th grade

(via beyoncevevo)

loser-fish:

Today in biology the teacher asked “why do chromosomes have to stick together?” And I whispered “because they’re bromosomes” and the guy next to me just about died laughing

(via trust)

  • waitress: i'm sorry we're all out of mozzarella sticks
  • waitress: sir please stop cyring